Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I love you.
Bad choice
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