btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
