Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
