You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
