His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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