toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
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