I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
