some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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