I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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