Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
