the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
