okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
