Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
