THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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