Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize