The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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