Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
