i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
