Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
