If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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