On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize