I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
