I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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