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It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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