**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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