She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
