He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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