I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
