The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
