I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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