capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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