Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
