The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
