Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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