ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
