No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
porn star boner night. come get it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
