it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize