i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize