i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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