we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
