i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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