Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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