U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
