i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
