You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
