just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
