I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
