Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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