he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it's like iHOP with fire
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
