This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
