I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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