my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
