I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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