Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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