So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
