i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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