Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
