i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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