It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
