its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
