it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
