hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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