speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize