You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My vagina just clenched in fear
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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