I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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