I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
two words...techno handjob
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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